Ianto and Jack : A Real Life Tragedy
by annie.of.belle
Summary: . JANTO real world, grow up together, watch them blossom! slash, sadness, depressing themes : enjoy! chapter 8 now up!
1. Prologue Babies

**Intro - Baby**

**X.x  
**

Christine Harkness looked into the eyes of her newborn son.

"Look, Robert! He's opened his eyes!"

"Oh, _thank _you, Doctor Smith."

Her husband grasped her hand, a ridiculously wide grin on his face, "What will we call him?" She touched her head to her child's. "Jack. His name will be Jack, and he will always be able to talk to us. He will always be loved and cared for. He can be whatever he wants, and do whatever he wants, express whatever he wants."

Hr husband gently squeezed her hand. "Jack I a fine name for a young lad like this. And you are right – Jack will be cared for and nurtured for as long as we are on this earth."

Jack Harkness laughed, a sweet, innocent, happy gurgle.

**X.x**

**Two Days Later**

"The last child, thank God." The Welshwoman smiled. "He is absolutely adorable."

Her husband wasn't there – he had an important business meeting. "Thank you, Doctor Smith. He is a wonderful baby. I'll take good care of him."

"I'm sure you will, Mrs. Jones. I was just wondering – what will you call him?"

"Ianto. Ianto Carwynn Jones. "

Ianto smiled a knowing smile, like he knew what was coming in his life.

Because, even though his life would be filled with tragedies, unhappiness and broken promises, he would be loved.

He would be labeled heretic, demonic, different, but he would be loved.

**First chapter – hope you liked it! As always, constructive criticism is always welcomed. Please tell me what I'm doing wrong… or it won't get any better.**


	2. Toddler First Meeting

**1 – Toddler/First Meeting**

**X.x**

"'Hello. 'M names Jack Harkness. Wha yours?"

"M' names Jones. Yan-to Jones."

"Jones-Yanno-Jones?"

The younger boy giggled. "No. Just Yan-to"

The elder child frowned in concentration, slight creases appearing under his blonde fringe. "Then why'd ya say Jo..." He gave up, shaking his head, and figured he'd understand when he was older. That was what his parents told him.

"Well, Yanno, It's nice ta meet ya." He held his hand out.

There was a pause. "What're you doin'?" asked Ianto

Another pause. "I don' know. Big people do it sometimes. When they meet. One of 'em holds their hand out – tha's me – then the other holds it and moves it up and down."

"Ok."

Their hands connected, and Jack shook his hand up and down, delighted that Ianto's hand followed his.

"So now what" asked Ianto.

Jack shrugged. "I dunno. Wanna play on the see-saw?"

"Sure!" Ianto grinned. He knew how to play on the see-saw.

**Aww, they're adorable. : ' ) makes me wanna cry… sniff…**

**Yea, the chapters are small, but I'm uploading them all together… sort-of…**

**Please, constructive criticism!**

**If you don't review, I'll assume you like it!**


	3. Playdate

**Chapter 2 – Play Date**

"Mum says you can come o'er tomorrow if you wanna."

"I'll ask Mam."

"Yay!"

**X.x**

"Yes, that sounds fine. Thank you very much Christine, Ianto'll have a great time, I'm sure. Thank you – we'll be able to get the wedding plans started." Ianto had no idea what his mother was saying, but it sounded good.

"Mam!" Ianto's eldest sister, Alice, had a very whiny voice. "Why're you marrying him? He's a dickhead, really, he is." Ianto didn't know what that meant, either, but he could tell from his mothers' shocked face that it was probably a bad word.

Mum had used them a lot when Dad died, leaving them with 'financial problems'. Ianto didn't know what 'financial problems' were, either.

"I've explained it all to you before. I love Stephan and he loves me -"

"Yeah, right. Spare me. He has money, and we need money. Dad died not even a year ago, and you're getting re-married. I am _not_ an idiot."

"Go to your room." Ianto's Mam looked worn-out, and there were tears in her eyes.

"He's so religious… He psyched out at Sophie, when she told him that she was an atheist."

"Please, Alice, darling, leave me alone."

"Fine."

Alice left the kitchen, headed for her room.

"Ianto?"

"Yes, Mam?"

"How would you like to go to Jack's house tomorrow?"

"Yep!" Ianto nearly went to his room to think about what was going to happen tomorrow, but then he remembered something. He turned around and hugged his Mam. "Thanks Mam."

**X.x**

**The Next Day**

"You be good now, Ianto. Have a good time, and be polite to Mr. and Mrs. Harkness."

"Okay, Mam. Bye!" he said, waving to his mother as Mrs. Harkness drove him and Jack to Jack's house.

Soon they arrived at a big house. A very, very big house. "Whoa."

"Come inside" said Jack, "I'll show you my room."

They walked up the stairs, Ianto clinging to the handrail, not used to stairs.

"Here it is" Jack stated proudly, opening the door.

"Wow" was all Ianto could say. "It's all yours?"

"Yep!"

"Look, I still haven't shown you the best bit."

They went back down the stairs, Ianto still cautiously, and ran outside. "Mum and Dad said me an' Gray could play here, but I'll let you, too."

"Thank you." Said Ianto, remembering his mothers' instructions to be polite.

"Come on, Yanno, it's got a see-saw an' a slide an' everything!"

Christine looked out at the two children, and smiled.

"Look, Robert. Aren't they so sweet. So innocent. His mother's marrying Stephen Numacker. The poor child."

"I can't imagine anyone would like him, let alone marry him."

"What, Ianto? Oh," she said, laughing. "Stephen." She sighed. "They have many financial problems. Nari, Ianto's mother, she doesn't know what to do. But I don't know…"

"Stephen Numacker… He's that very religious guy, right? Did a door knock talking about the evils of homosexuals and all that, right?"

"Yep, that's him. I'm worried he's going to be too oppressive for little Ianto. The other children already have enough spunk to get through, I think, but Ianto…"

"Well, we'll always welcome him here."

"Yes."

"And that's all we can do."

"I guess it is."

**Okay, it's a little slow. But it gets better… (I Hope :) when they get to the teen years it'll get better... (again, I hope :) constructive criticism is loved and cherished!**


	4. Growing Up

**3 – Primary School (Year 6, 12 years old)**

"Ianto, what've we got?"

"Math."

"Damnit."

Ianto grinned. "Forgot to do your homework again?"

Jack smiled apologetically. "Maybe?"

Ianto sighed. "Look, you can copy, but only if you actually do it this afternoon."

"… well, see, I'm not very good at fractions…"

"You want help?"

"If it's okay…" Jack looked embarrassed, so Ianto decided not to tease him about it. "Fine. I'll come round after school."

Jack smiled with relief. "Thanks, Yan."

"Anything to get out of our place."

"Is it getting worse?"

"Nah… I'm used to him, but if I've got an excuse to get out of there…"

Jack nodded in understanding. "You know you can always come to our place. Even if it's not because of him, you're always welcome."

Ianto smiled. "Thanks, but I'm fine. C'mon, we're gonna be late for maths."

**X.x**

**That Afternoon**

"It's like division – 1/2 means one divided by two, which is a half. So the simplified version of 6/3 is two…"

"No, I don't get it... why isn't it two divided by one?"

Ianto sighed, and then laughed.

"Because that would mean…"

It was going to be a long afternoon.

**X.x**

**Highschool (Year 8, 14 years old.)**

Jack couldn't sleep.

Ianto's sister, Alice, had left home. Alice had been the only one who'd stuck up for him, and, since she'd left, Ianto had been turning up at school with bruises. And today… Ianto had been sad all day, barely able to get through maths, which he loved. He had been in sick bay for bits of the day, and Jack wasn't allowed to see him.

He looked at his clock. **11:39 **blinked at him, soon switching to **11:40**.

There was a knock on the front door, in a rapid succession that he could barely hear. He got out of bed, and rushed to the door, quietly so as not to wake his parents.

There was another knock, quieter this time.

"Oh my God, Ianto? Is that you?"

Ianto was covered in bruises, and holding one of his arms in the other.

"Yeah. Can I come in? I stopped the bleeding, I won't get blood everywhere, promise."

_Bleeding? "_Ianto, what happened?"

"Nothing, I just got cut, I'm fine."

Jack shook his head, amazed that Ianto thought he was that stupid.

"I'm not an idiot. Something happened – but come in. I'll get the first aid kit… go to my room. I'll bring it up."

"Thanks" Ianto muttered, not looking up.

**X.x**

"So what _really_ happened?" Jack was bandaging the – probably self inflicted - cut on Ianto's wrist.

"It was stupid."

"You don't usually do stupid things."

"Well, I did today."

"Did you do _that_?" He asked, pointing to the bandage, or rather, the cut that they both knew was under the bandage.

Ianto sighed in defeat. "Yes."

"Oh, Ianto. Why?"

"Jack, I'm so tired – can I crash here tonight?"

"Of course! Do you want a shower?"

"Nah."

"Okay, I'll grab a pair of PJ's."

"Thanks."

After Ianto got changed, Jack helped Ianto onto his bed.

"I can't take your bed." Said Ianto "Where will you sleep?"

"I'll just sleep on the floor, I'll be fine."

"No, I can't sleep up hereby myself anyway. Come sleep with me.**"**

Ianto's reasons for wanting Jack to sleep with him were almost entirely selfish – when he was close to Jack, There was some sort of … something… that made him keep coming back for more.

**X.x**

**I have no idea how school works in Wales – or anywhere except NSW, for that matter. But we have 12 years of school (6 years primary school, 6 in highschool). If anyone is welsh (or knows anything about welsh schools) if you can tell me how it works, that'd be great. Thank you!**


	5. Walking Out

Several weeks later, Ianto had spent several sleepless nights at Jacks' house, usually turning up with blood on his shirt and a new cut to bandage - and not always self-inflicted. Jack didn't mind, but Ianto still wouldn't tell him exactly what was going on, and he was starting to worry that something r_eally_ bad could happen.

Jack had to admit, he really liked it when Ianto came over at night. He shouldn't, because his best friend was hurt, but he loved going to sleep with his arms wrapped around Ianto's slight frame, in fact, he found it hard to sleep when Ianto didn't come over, for worry that Stephan was hurting him.

Jack still hadn't told his parents that Ianto came over during the night; he left before sunrise, so there was no need to worry them, right? Jack hoped he was doing the right thing.

***

The next day at school, Ianto had his arm in a cast.

"What happened?" Jack asked, when they finally had a quiet moment together. "Did _he_ brake your arm?" They both knew who Jack meant by _he._

"No…" Ianto looked like he was going to cry. "Look, I'll tell you tonight, ok?"

Jack agreed, and then they had to go to class.

Ianto came over early – like, an hour after school.

He rang the doorbell, and Jack let him in.

Thinking on his feet, Jack said "Sorry, Mum, I forgot to tell you. I invited Ianto over. Is that okay?"

"Of course" she replied, smiling softly. "I told you, Ianto's always welcome here."

"Thanks Mum."

They left, and walked up the stairs to Jacks room.

Jack said nothing, and waited for Ianto to start the conversation.

Ianto kicked off his boots, and sat down next to Jack, on his bed.

Jack put his arm around him.

"Mam asked me where I went, when I was hurt. She noticed that I wasn't always around."

Jack said nothing.

"I said 'Jack's place' just as Stephan came in – sober, for once. He called me a queer, and a devil-worshiper, and other shit that I don't even want to think about, and said he couldn't live in the same house as me. So I said Fine. Leave, We'll be glad to see you go. And he yelled at me Get Out! You can't push me out of my own home. And I said Like you're pushing me out of mine? And he pushed me out of the house. Literally." Tears appeared in the corners of his eyes. "And Mam and my brothers and sisters said nothing, and I have nowhere to live."

"You can always stay here -" Jack stared saying, but was cut off by Ianto.

"No. Because – as much as I hate Stephan, he was right. I like you more than I should, and I'm sorry."

"Don't be – I, I like you too. A lot."

And Jack kissed him, on the lips, and Ianto hated hi for it.

Ianto pulled away. "Jack, stop. It's wrong to feel like this. I shouldn't have said anything. God will send us to Hell, and it's _not _right… and I'm leaving. I rang Alice, she'll take me. She lives in London, but I'm meeting up with her this afternoon. I just came to say goodbye, and that I'll miss you."

Jack said nothing.

"So… goodbye," said Ianto. "And I really will miss you."

Ianto gave Jack a small kiss on the cheek, and waked out of the room, out of the house, and out of Jack's life, for the remainder of their childhood.


	6. Second Meeting

After Ianto left, Jack got on with life. His family fell apart, but he tried not to care about that. But, in the process, he completely stopped caring.

And so he became the playboy of the school, with numerous girlfriends – and boyfriends – within short spaces of time.

But it didn't help - he was still sad - empty - inside.

***

About a week after Graduation, he was walking home, when all of a sudden a car pulled up near him. A – really cute – guy got out of the car. Memories stirred, and Jack gasped. "_Ianto…_"

And, before this strange, yet familiar looking man looked around, Jack turned in the other direction and ran.

_It wasn't him, couldn't have been him…_

That night he broke up with his current girlfriend, just in case.

***

The next day, Jack resolved to go to the same shop, to see if the stranger was there.

When he got there, the car was already pulled up and the curb, outside the same shop as yesterday. Jack grinned, in spite of himself. He walked into the shop, with as much casualness and calm as he could muster.

Casualness and calm flew out the window when he saw the stranger again.

Luckily, the stranger hadn't seen _him_ yet, which gave casualness and calm a chance to come back, their tails between their legs.

So, suave and secure, Jack walked up to this stranger, this man who had turned his world upside down when he was 14.

He smiled, a charming trademark grin that made men melt and women swoon. "Hey there, good-looking."

The man at the table didn't look up, but sighed and said, "Do I know you?"

Jack was startled. Ianto was a lot more in control, more… tough. He liked it. His grin grew wider. "Unless you forgot." He said, sounding mock hurt.

He finally looked up. His mouth became a 'o' shape, but he recovered quickly.

"You remembered me?" He sounded surprised, almost like he hadn't meant to say something; like it had slipped out by accident.

"Ianto Jones? Mother Nari Jones, favourite sister Alice Jones, other siblings Dafydd, Rhiannon, among others, had an abusive father, ran away at 14 to live with your sister Alice because of said abusive father."

"Step father," Ianto corrected.

Jack smiled. "And you probably still have scars on your wrist, because I didn't know how to stitch wounds when I was fourteen."

Ianto smiled sadly. "Did I ever say Thank You for that?"

"Don't worry about it."

Ianto sighed. "Look, Jack, I'm sorry I left. There was so much going on, so much I never told you – so much I should have told you."

"We should talk. Do you want to come to my place?" Asked Jack.

Ianto sighed. "I was hoping to avoid this… yeah, I guess."

***

**People have been asking for the reason Ianto was cutting, amongst other stuff. That's coming next chapter.**

**Thanks for your reviews! Please, tell me if I'm doing something wrong!**


	7. Catching Up

They took Ianto's car to Jack's house. "Left here. Go straight… third house on the right."

The same as all those year ago, all Ianto could say when he saw Jacks house was "Wow."

So he said it.

Jack shrugged. "I inherited some money, had nothing to do with it, and I needed a house. Saved enough for uni - if I decide to go – and kept enough to live comfortably, and the rest was money for a house."

"Inherited?" Ianto asked. "Who from?"

"Mum and Dad."

"They… died?"

"Uh… yeah. Well, Dad and Gray did. Mom's clinically depressed, so she's… in a clinic."

"I'm so sorry."

"Why? Unless you pulled the trigger, then you did nothing wrong."

Ianto was shocked by Jack's uncaring tone. "I… guess." Ianto decided to ask what happened later. Jack had a… look… in his eye.

"I missed you, Yan. So much."

"I'm sorry. I'm really am sorry I left."

Jack laughed, but not from happiness. "I'm not asking for an apology. I don't want you to feel guilty. You didn't do anything wrong. I can't imagine that you would ever do anything wrong."

"It seems like the wrong decision from where I'm standing."

"Well, if you hadn't left, I wouldm't be so happy you came back. And I'm sure you'll have a good reason."

"It's stupid. I wasn't strong enough. I should have held up under pressure, I should've stayed and helped you. I'm so _weak_!"

"Ianto!" Jack grabbed his shoulders, shaking him a bit. "Whatever happened – you are under no obligation to take care of me, and it wasn't your fault, and you are _not _weak. Your stepdad hit you and bashed you up, and you stayed. That's strong, stronger than anyone should have to be. Especially at thirteen."

"But I didn't stay. I left because of him."

"Then you did the right thing. You got out of there."

"I didn't leave 'cause he was hitting me. I…" Ianto took a deep breath. "I left because he was abusing me."

Understanding washed through Jack's face. "Oh, God, Ianto."

Tears were forming in his eyes, and Jack held him tight,.

"Come on, come sit down on the couch. Tell me everything."

Ianto brushed the tears away, and fell into Jack's warm embrace. "Alice left about a year before I told you. I don't know why I didn't tell you; I was so used to hiding everything home-related, I just didn't. The night she left, he came into my room, completely drunk." Ianto looked at Jack, and Jack could see the fear in his eyes. "I was scared at once, of course, but I thought I was just going to get a beating." He paused, and fresh tears fell down his face. "He beat me, and when he was done, I was barely conscious. I couldn't do a thing. So… he raped me. And it was just… there. I wasn't even there. It was like…" he searched for a word, torment marring his face. "It was like I was watching it happen, to someone I didn't know. I was vaguely concerned for them, but I was in too much pain to concentrate.

It seemed like hours before he was done. But when he was, he just got up off me, put his clothes back on, and told me to put mine on. I hadn't even noticed that he'd taken them off."

Jack, who had been listening in horror, held him tighter, at a loss for words.

"It happened about two to four times a week. The day I left, he'd raped me for seventeen nights in a row. I'm so sorry. So sorry I couldn't just take it."

Jack stare at him, shocked. "Are you apologising for being a victim of rape?" he asked, aghast. "Because that's just… that's just… sick. You did nothing wring – if you'd told me, I would have encouraged you to leave, or at least get out of the house."

"But the second I left, I bet he started on Dafydd." Dafydd is Ianto's brother, Jack remembered. "No, Stephan died not long after you left. Heart attack."

"Oh. That's good, I guess."

"Yes. But I still can't believe… I should have asked more. I'm so sorry."

"Is that why you… cut?"

"No. I… there were other complications, apparently. I have psychological issues from him, from him raping me. I've got OCD from that, PTSD from when some guy shot my sister in front of me, after shooting me in the leg and arm. Then he killed her. That's why I'm back. No place to live."

"Oh, God. God Ianto… Live here, with me. It's got three bedrooms, four bathrooms, kitchens, everything. Stay with me."

"I didn't come here for pity and charity."

"It's not. It's help."

Ianto thought about it. Both were painfully aware of what Jack was offering, and remembering their first kiss. "Thank you. That would be very… kind of you."

He laughed. "I just wish someone had been kind to me."

"What happened to them Jack? Why is your Mam in an institute?"

"There's always been schizophrenia, bipolar and shit like that, in my Mum's side of he family. But she was lucky enough to not have any problems – of so it seemed. Her brother, Alex, came over - just out of the blue, asking to stay for a week or so. Of course, he was allowed – Mum's always been a hospitable person, and he was her brother. Why wouldn't she say yes? It turns out that he had stopped taking his tablets – he had schizophrenia. One night, I heard a sound outside my bedroom. It was Alex, and he said something about 'they showed me what was coming, I promise you this is a mercy', and, and…" Jack gripped Ianto tight, and Ianto held his hand, gently stroking it with his thumb. "And he pulled out a gun, and levelled it at my head. Gray must've heard my scream, 'cause he came running out, and, without hesitating, Alex spun around and shot him. He got him in the shoulder, and there was blood everywhere… I can still see it…"

He buried his face in Ianto's shoulder. "I reached towards his hand and grabbed it. I thought I grabbed his hand, but it must've slipped… I ran before I even realised anything had happened. I just ran… I should have realised… I should have helped him... I saw Dad outside, coming back from work. I told him what was happening, and he ran in to get Gray and Mum." There was another pause, and Ianto kept stroking Jack's hand. "I heard several shots after that. Later, I was told that he shot Gray straight through the head, between his eyes." Ianto could feel the tears soaking into his shoulder. He took no notice. "Mum hid under the bed. Dad was shot twelve times; Alex kept missing anything vital, and he truly thought he was trying to help us. Then he shot himself, just before the police arrived. Gray came out when he heard me scream, and Dad went back to save him.

But all I could do was run."

***

**there you go. They're all broken into little pieces, barely holding each other together. If anyone wants me to add Lisa to add to ianto's PTSD, then I will, but I thought it would be sweeter if Ianto had been pining for jack all these years, but brought up with a rapist stepfather, believed being gay was a very very bad thing which it isn't. but rape is. You know what I mean. So; lisa or no lisa? You tell me.**

**I think I'll go cry now… does anyone have a tissue? *sniff***


	8. Loving

Ianto woke up to find himself in someone's home. With someone's arms around him.

_Jack…_

Ianto got a massive shock when he remembered what had happened last night – he had never told anyone, not even Alice, what Stephan had done to him. But Jack had always been such a comfort, so real, so… steadfast. Ianto just hoped his returning feelings for the man would go unnoticed.

"Morning, Yan." Said Jack, groggily rubbing his eyes. "Sleep well?"

Ianto thought about that. "Yes, actually. You?"

"I fell asleep holding a gorgeous guy that I've been missing for years. I slept fine, thanks," he said, grinning.

Ianto blushed, but otherwise ignored the comment. "Do you want some coffee or something?"

"Coffee's fine. I have instant and the good stuff, but I can't figure out how to use anything except instant."

Ianto mock-frowned. "Not good enough! I must teach you to make _real _coffee!"

"This early in the morning, must you? It's-" he looked at his watch"-seven in the morning."

"So?"

"Sane people are not awake at this hour."

"Are you calling us sane?"

Jack paused in thought. "Fair enough. Coffee."

And so began Ianto's torture.

***

Halfway through the day, things started getting awkward. It started with a rather innocent question.

"Is there any stuff you want to get or do you want to buy some clothes or something?"

"I don't have anything. I threw out anything she had touched." Jack knew who he meant by she, "… an OCD thing, apparently".

"Well then. Three options – Borrow some of mine – I think they'll fit – We can go buy some – which I am happy to do – Or you can walk around naked." Jack stroked his chin. "The first would be easiest, the second the most practical, but I think the last one is my favourite."

Ianto looked away, pink tingeing his cheekbones.

Jack smiled. "I love it when you blush," he said, almost hypnotically. "Sorry, " he added hastily, "I didn't mean-"

"Don't worry about it." Ianto cut him off. "It's just the way you are." He grinned. "I don't mind."

"Then would you mind if I did this?"

"What?" Ianto asked quietly.

Jack touched his lips to Ianto's, briefly, but warmly.

"Oh, that." Said Ianto. "… no?"  
"You don't sound very certain."

"I don't feel very certain."

"Okay… good or bad?"  
"Not sure…"

"Okay…"

"Maybe again?"

Jack didn't reply, just kissed him again.

"Wow."

"Is that what you say whenever anything new happens?"

"It's what I say when I see something amazing."

"Well that's good."

"Yeah… kiss me again?"

"Certainly."

This time Ianto participated in the kiss, and Jack loved it.

"Wow."

"Exactly what I think," said Jack, "whenever I see you."

Ianto looked up at him. "Jack, I don't want to spoil this, but… this is hard. I don't know what to think, what I should be thinking… I've only ever been with one person, and that was… you know who, and I don't want to feel that ever again – It's not that I don't trust you, I do, I just-"

"Ianto, I won't hurt you. I promise. And I won't force you to do anything, or pressure you. We'll just… see how this goes, okay? And I won't let anyone hurt you, not like that, not at all. You're safe here. Safe here with me."

Ianto nodded. "I feel safe," he admitted, "but I used to feel safe at home as well, and I felt safe at Alice's." He smiled at Jack. "But, I'm willing to try, on one condition."

"What is it?"

"Kiss me again?"

There was no talking for quite a while after that.

***

That night, after Ianto had been shown his room, he had borrowed some boxers and a singlet of Jack's.

"Thanks." Said Ianto.

"We'll get you some clothes tomorrow, whatever you want – more suits, pajamas, underwear, whatever."

Ianto had already been suckered into letting Jack get him whatever he wanted – Ianto decided that Jack could do whatever he wanted if he would kiss him like that again.

"Thank you."

"Welcome," jack said, as he tipped an imaginary hat. "I live to serve."

Ianto grinned. "Goodnight, Jack," he said, and turned around to go to his room.

"Do I get a goodnight kiss?" Asked Jack, sounding mock-hurt with an adorable pout on his face.

Ianto sighed dramatically. "If you must."

"I must indeed."

No matter how long they were together, or how many times they kissed, Ianto knew he would always get a tingle when jack kissed him like that.

"Goodnight, Ianto," Jack said, softly. "Sleep tight."

Ianto smiled, stretching his head up for one more kiss.

"'Night, Jack."

He walked up the stairs to his room and settled on his bed, which he and Jack had made earlier in the day. He cautiously pulled up the corner of the duvet, and then pulled the rest up, lay down, and snuggled the blankets around him, making a kind of warm, fluffy nest.

_No, No, NO!! _He yelled inside. Ianto knew he wouldn't get any sleep until his brain shut down, and it wouldn't shut down until it was happy. The messiness of the duvet was distracting, so he got up and made the bed again, making everything straight and wrinkle-free. Then he lay down on the floor, perfectly straight, his arms by his sides.

He still couldn't sleep.

There was a washing machine or a dishwasher somewhere in the house, not going, but still on. The microwave beeped. Outside, a stray cat scrounged for food, and a dog barked. Leaves rustled, and a door slammed – _STOP! _

Ianto had had severe insomnia since Alice was killed.

Ianto thought about Stephan. Was he really sorry he was dead? It was hard to think straight, when it came to Stephan. He hadn't just raped him. Sometimes, if Ianto had had a bad day, Stephan would bring him something – a chocolate, or a figurine. Ianto's favourite was ones called the 'Weeping Angels'. They were no bigger than his hand, made of cement or concrete, with their hands in front of their faces. Ianto still had them.

It had been so _real_ – Stephan said that he loved him, that Ianto was his 'special little boy'. And Ianto had loved him too. Ianto knew what Stephan had done was wrong, but some part of him couldn't fathom Stephan not loving him.

The tears had been falling down his face for ages before he noticed that they were there. He was also sobbing – great, heaving sobs, so heavy that it was uncomfortable breathing. He sat up, leaning against the side of the bed, and wept for the only person to ever love him.


End file.
